An Ode To The Failed

today i walked amidst the pouring rain
i was cleansed and made pure again
baptism of fire or baptism of water
makes no difference, no big difference

i might as well have walked through purging flames
i might as well as felt eternal pain
when every droplet holds a precious vision
and every tear a broken memory
for me to recall, for me to stop

i hand it to u, for u are right
i can only blame myself
for i brought it upon me upon myself
i broke the vows and gave up the ghost
like a conjuror in the middle
of a scorching desert, making rain
for it was a rite of necessity
please don't blame me
i needed to drink, to live

if it makes you feel better
i hurt more than you do
once bitten twice shy
and twice bitten thrice i died
along with me my hopes and wishes
lost chances you failed to seize upon
i gave you everything

if it makes you feel better
i truly loved you once upon a rhyme
or rhythm that my heart composed
a song of courtship reserved for you
now it wails and screams in
senseless chorus
and it bleeds where salt is applied
keeping it fresh until you return

i don't dare hope for your love again
for i am an unworthy
but if you ever hear God speak
i hope you remember me
i hope you remember me
and all i stood for
i wont be too far off i guess
just resting on the dark side of the Sun
till you return, until you return