the military

i swear i wanted to feature a scene from a mental hospital but then something unexpected popped up. u see, i checked my mailbox (the snail-infested one), and found in it a letter that my other friends have received but i haven't. it was my enlistment letter, the flimsy piece of document that states my fate for the next two years.

i m gonna be a commando. yup, thats right, u heard correct. i find it extremely hard to believe it, believe me. i'll tell u how i feel. i feel excited, but at the same time a bit apprehensive. two years of meaningful service, but also two years of intense military training. i'll probably learn more skills that i can apply to life in the army than i have ever my whole life, but i know it'll be the time that i lose a lot too: my boyhood, whatever shreds of innocence that remain. i am scared that i will see the world differently, that my life will undergo so dramatic a change that i can't cope. i m scared that the distance from the past will become too hard to bear. basically, i am just scared stiff.

maybe the mental hospital scene will have to wait. there's no time for insanity right now. i have to gather myself and move ahead.